I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
