Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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