I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Randomize
