In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
