My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
