I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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