Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
