You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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