I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
