dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Randomize
