i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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