I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
