Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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