i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
zippers are such a cool invention
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Houston, we have a blender
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
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