Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
