I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
