I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
