I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
