The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
