Is it normal to miss your booty call?
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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