His hands were made for my vagina.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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