they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
