And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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