Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize
