Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Randomize
