you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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