Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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