absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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