can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
