3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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