it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
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