...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
