She said her name was "party"
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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