I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
