I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
