You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
