she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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