You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
i black out too much to be "responsible"
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