Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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