just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
