She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize