bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Randomize
