singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
