we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
