Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
