I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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