I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
