I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
