Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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