I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
What a fucking waste of an outfit
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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