I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
