Is it because I queefed?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
